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February 3, 2006
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well, hello people from livejournal whom i haven't talked to in 320492309432094 years. I bet you are all so excited i'm updating, because i am God and you just love my entries. don't lie.
so the past few months have been fucking amazing. they have consisted of extacsy, lsd, stacked up piles of humans on my bedroom floor, cocaine, ganja, techno, pills, dancing, pacifiers, nakedness, setting smoke alarms off in hotel rooms, and insomnia. i have been chased by ducks down peters road while tripping on acid, almost hit by a slew of cars while running on state road 84 trying to get away from these demonic.. squaking creatures. i have smoked some of the finest herb known to man also, and yes, i am going to brag about this.
most of all, i love my close circle of friends right now, just because they are so amazing. there is seth, who is obsessed with wearing make up and various layers of womens clothing who owns a collection of cd's including cher, blondie, the cheetah girls, and madonna. this young man is also a teacher at a christian nursery who brings drug paraphanelia to work and doesn't wear underwear. he also has a shirt that says hang out with your wang out, among many others. this is the only kid i know that gets sexually harassed by male drug dealers. if anything changed about this boy, i would cry. he's fucking cool, and my partner in crime. then, there's allison, who is obsessed with dead animals and people, and who orders books off of amazon about necrophilia and weird types of sex. she also enjoys reading articles about how some woman would masturbate herself with a slew of maggots. i thought it was really disgusting. though she is one of the most beautiful friends i have, she is definitely the weirdest. i love this girl because of the bond we share. we are so different, but so the same.. and she is always there to listen to me. she is the voice of reason when i'm about to do something really stupid that could either kill me or get me in a lot of trouble. the rest of my friends are too oblivious to realize that sometimes we come up with really crazy shit that could really fuck us over. she is the most motivated to do things and has the least of the stoner mentality in the group. she's kind of more speedy.. like someone that does coke. but she doesn't, so don't think that. allison never makes sense(i.e kicking the box episode), but thats okay because i love her anyway. she will be the next jesus christ superstar. mark my wordz. then there's geoff, whom is always talking about philosophy and if i ever have to hear about how there is so much energy in the universe i'm going to need a coronary. on first glance, or first impression, you'd think that he was born in the totally wrong era and should go back to 1960 as soon as it becomes possible for time travel. his ass is always hanging out, and sometimes his dick, but whatever. i'm used to it. he's completely tone deaf but still tries to sing, and it's hilarious. he claims not to get drunk, but hands a pizza guy 20 dollars when the bill is 15 and somehow still gets an extra dollar squeezed out of him because they knew he was fucked up and that he could be taken advantage of. he's one of those hit-hit-pass people, so if you don't like to be rushed when smoking, don't smoke with geoff. i love this boy because he has been there for me through the hardest times to handle these past couple of years. no one could ever replace his genuine personality or the bond that we have. he is my best friend, ever, through thick and thin.. and he's even cooler because he found marina, who is someone i can't live without if i even tried to picture it. she is the closest i will ever have to a sister. it's hard to talk about marina, because it's hard to put how i feel about her in words. if one of us had to get the most likely to succeed award, it would be her. she's a genious and shes fucking amazing at art. being an indie rock bluff like me, we share a common bond that no one else in the group does. when she first me me, and everyone else, she was really shy, straight edge, and didn't really talk. let me tell you, there has been a vast change in that. whenever something is wrong, she comes up with the most logical advice and holds my hand the entire way until i know i'm going to be okay. i know for a fact that she is going to be one of those people that i'll know forever. what i love about her most is how she treats geoff. i am so glad he finally found someone that has substance and makes him happy, rather than a sleazy whore bitch who plays victim and took him and everything else she had for granted. last, but not least, there is danielle, whom i have a crazy friendship with. we have witnessed car jackings, public intoxication, and extremely good shows. even though we have our fights, i know she's got my back and i have hers. i love smoking weed together when it's just the two of us. we have the best conversations and there is never a dull moment. i love the fact that these 6 people can be together every weekend and most of the week and never feel tired of eachother. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH XOXOXOXOXOXO.
in other news, i'm single, i'm loving it, and i'm about to go get my eyebrows waxed. i also just found out i'm sitting in a guys desk that sheds skin and now i'm really grossed out and leaving. peaceeeeeee.
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| some things will never change. |
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October 1, 2005
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i remember when livejournal used to be fun to use.
not anymore.
it's october 1st today. jesus christ i am so glad september is over. i've always hated that month.
allison's birthday is next weekend.. i'm excited. crunk times as usual.. let's just hope it's not like last night.
things that i have learned
- everytime geoff leaves my bathroom it's all wet around the toilet for some odd reason
- marina always enjoys grabbing my face when drunk
- allison's gay and wants me as her closet pet
- my mom got a job as a book keeper at pure platinum/ solid gold. lap dances here i come.
goodbye people
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| news flash |
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August 22, 2005
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allison is going to the hanson concert with me on october 23rd wether she likes it or not
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August 16, 2005
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happy birthday, babydoll
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| i never post, but i'm asking you to please read this. |
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August 8, 2005
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my cellphone got really ruined. (it fell off of dani's car on federal because i left it on the bumper like a dumbass.)
i've been weeks without one, but now i finally have it back.
unfortunately, i've lost all of your numbers, and it really sucks, you don't even understand.
so, to help me out, i'm asking you to comment with your number or send me an email with it if you don't feel comfortable (erin_kennedy@bellsouth.net) so i can store it into my phone. even if i dont talk to you often, chances are i had your number and it would have came to use. so come on. comment, comment, comment. or email me. one of the two.
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July 9, 2005
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something just gave me the urge to smile last night. i don't know what it was, really.. i was just sitting alone, all alone, and for the first time in a very long time.. i felt true hapiness just because i was alive.
sure, my job is stressful. a lot of things in my life are stressful, and i miss him to death, but i'm starting to realize that this is living. it's life. sometimes stress is comforting when i know that i am going to overcome it.
i got a really great black and white polkadotted bathingsuit today at dillards.. and i need to buy a bottle of black hairdye asap.
this entry was going to be very long, and interesting, but i have decided not to write anymore. i'm going out of town to orlando for a week (7/10-7/17), so call me late at night (9543197928) so i can go have cigarette breaks outside of the hotel. (even if it's been forever since i've talked to you. surprise me and let me know you haven't forgotten my ass.)
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June 28, 2005
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i hate vh1.
i hate amusement parks.
i hate the thought of going back to school in a month.
i hate people that come into my store and can't speak english.
FUCK THAT!
so, i got a job.
yeah. it sucks. i hate it so much.
...but i'll be quitting soon.
i just realized this entry was not positive, at all, so i'll make it that way.
last night i got really drunk and woke up on the couch this morning with a mosquito bite on my face, popcorn tossed all over the couch, and my front door was wide open.
i laughed, real hard.
today is geoff's birthday. i love that kid. i can seriously say i loveeeeeeeeeeeee this kid. he is one of those people that you know you will be friends with forever, no matter what.
today i am going to plantation to visit him and who knows when i'll be home tomorrow or where i'll be later tonight. all i know, is that i am going to consume a lot of crown royal. i love life. :)
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May 26, 2005
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YO. SUP. I wonder what i'm doing tonight.
I just realized how weird I smell. I think I need a shower. Really bad.
Trying to find a job that doesn't pay minimum wage absolutely sucks, i'm so sick of searching and filling out applications it's getting rediculous. I don't go to school very much anymore and I am loving it, but dreading having to make this shit up online.
Last night Dani and Seth came over and we set the smoke alarms off in my house..
...... GOOD GOING GUYS.
For everyone participating, is the bonfire still a go for this weekend or should I see hellogoodbye at revolution (even though they suck)?
For whoever was at my party, Kelcie sent me the pictures. Let me know if you want them forwarded to you, and I will not include the ones with me in them. I am so terribly unphotogenic I wanted to cry when I saw them. haha.
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| so tired of being lonely. |
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May 18, 2005
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i don't know why i still have a livejournal.. i don't really have anything to write about anymore, at all really.
... maybe i do, but i can't help but keep my thoughts so bottled inside up for these past couple of months.
it isn't like me at all to do this either. it's almost like i want no one to know the thoughts i'm having. i'm afraid of being judged, percieved as annoying, or even ignored, which is the worst.
it's scary to look in the mirror nowadays and not even know who it is you're seeing. i feel like i don't even know who i am anymore. i feel like i don't know what my purpose is. i feel like a bum that has turned my back on almost everyone.
eh. whatever though. don't get me wrong, there are also a lot of things that make me happy.
i just wish that the bad wouldn't outweigh the good.
my last hour teacher told me that i was extremely pale and asked if i was feeling okay. kind of confused, i said i was fine, and went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. when i saw the color of my skin i just started crying for no apparent reason.
i had a dream last night that he called me. his voice was exactly how i remembered it. he said funny things and made me laugh. he told me how much he loved me and wanted to see me...
i just can't stop thinking about it.
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| bea arthur is for lovers |
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May 16, 2005
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mood |
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it's so funny how my icon doesn't even look remotely like me anymore. i haven't used my camera in nearly a year and it's weird to see old pictures and associate how i used to look with how i used to live my life. now everything is just so different..
maybe i will take new pictures tonight and post them later.
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April 27, 2005
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i still haven't even came close to forgetting you.
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| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't skip thissssss |
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April 22, 2005
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i'm at school now and i never get to use the computer at home because.. well, it's broken, so i can't post the flyer, but in case you were wondering..
TONIGHT!!!!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF SEAN CHANEY..
ANNA LIES
PROTAGONIST
DKLIMB
MASTERPIECE-COLLECTIVE
A JOINT EFFORT
JACOBS LADDER
COPASETIC
$5
DOORS 5:30PM
AT THE CORAL SPRINGS SPORTSPLEX
2575 SPORTSPLEX DRIVE
be there, or be fucking gay. bring friends. proceeds are donated to the national hopeline which is an excellent cause.
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| hmmmm... |
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April 10, 2005
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just a quick poll.
anyone that's ever been to any of my parties or any parties hosted by me know what i mean by this..
but anyway, who wants to take part in another insanely crazy fucking night in a hotel room for my birthday in a few weeks?
come on fuckers.
and bring your friends.
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April 6, 2005
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sometimes certain people just know me way too well.
basically the same old shit has been going on, except for the fact that i'm sick as a fucking dog. coughing up and sneezing out blood definitely isn't fun.
...and the saddest part is, i'm actually looking forward to going to orlando with my family.
i don't even know why i bothered making this update, it's pretty pointless for the most part, but more importantly, if any of you people want to know about sean chaney's benefit show then please leave me a comment so that i can give you the information. i hope to see you niggas there.
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March 10, 2005
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it's funny how you can spend years of complete joy with someone, wether it be a friend, or a significant other, and as time goes on, the less they are there.
what glitters always seems to fade.
geoff explained to me that the only thing constant in life is change. i've realized this, but avoided the fact out of fear. this is getting to be something that i don't want to become used to. every time things are going good, life takes a shit, and then the next time you are happy, it was better the last time you felt good about yourself.
every year your innocence seems to take an even farther back seat. i've grown up too fast. this is not something that i am proud of. i wish that i would've taken the opportunity to be a child when it was my time to be one.
instead, i got involved with a lot of drugs, heavy drinking, permiscuous sex, and depression. although i have removed myself from these things dramatically, the scars are still there and i wish that i could close my eyes and make them disappear.
i miss the times when there were tons of kids living on my street. we used to come home from school and visit eachother's houses all day and all night, and talk about inventing things and what we wanted to be when we got older. it's insane how intense a child's imagination can be at times. sometimes i wish i would've stayed that way forever. those are the times where i could've deemed myself truly happy.
i'm upset with myself that i ever fell in love with sean. i'm upset that i'm still in love with someone that has no ability to be in my life no matter what the circumstances are due to science.
i'm upset that i never threw myself into school hard.
i'm upset that i was never motivated to complete any tasks.
i'm upset that i can't stop smoking cigarettes.
i'm upset that i'm a shitty friend to most people and that i only care about myself most times.
i'm upset that i'm still writing this and i'm sorry i took up useless space on your friends page.
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| brooke and i make the funniest text messages. |
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February 22, 2005
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me: god, i want this movie to be over so bad. i can't wait until it ends.
brooke: what are you seeing?
me: because of winn dixie! :P i took brianna.
brooke: is that the one where the dog gets rabies and bites the girl and she dies?
me: ............no?
10 minutes later
me: i was playing a cellphone game and this old guy behind my seat was like, "STOP SHINING THAT LIGHT FROM THAT PHONE!!"
brooke: tell him your mother is giving birth
me: why would my mother text me while she's in labor?
brooke: no fucking clue dude, but you could possibly write I'M DEAF on the screen and hand it to him so that he thinks you're using it as a talking device
me: ....why would i be in the movies if i was deaf?
staleeeee. i love my friends. this weekend was good. crunk times were had.
20 MINUTES OF SCHOOL LEFT!
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February 17, 2005
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today is my niece's birthday and i have so much fucking shit to do this weekend.
add my dream journal, _harlotvanity, to your friendslist. it'll be really fun.
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